*Kicking my addiction - health warnings!*

Hello, my name is Roo and I'm a diet soda addict. Yes, that's right. It seems pretty sad that I have an addiction to diet soda but I've recently come to terms with my addiction and I have finally conquered it.

It started around the age of 13 when I was even more obsessed by my weight than I had been previously. I was always the 'fat kid' and a couple of people went out of their way to make sure I knew it, not that I didn't already I mean I see myself everyday. When I initially started calorie counting I found the 'wonders' of diet soda. A immediate burst of energy, sweetness and filling for around 2kcal a glass, I remember thinking to myself this was even freaking better than meal replacement shakes! So for breakfast I would drink a glass of diet soda, at break time would follow another diet soda, lunch time would be a diet soda with some form of food, dinner would consist of a diet soda and another other form of fluid intake would be a diet soda. Are you getting where I'm going? Literally everything I drank was diet soda and I often replaced my meals with it too. Thinking about it now this is really disgusting but even up to a few weeks ago I was doing the same. I got to a point where I was drinking diet soda and nothing else. No other form of liquid passed my lips, that's right people, NO WATER!

At this point I would be shouting "well just stop drinking it, what the hell?" But it was far too late, it had become an addiction. The more I drank then more I wanted. I was suffering from violent head aches, mood swings and bloating but I just couldn't seem to stop drinking it. It got to a point where I was drinking at least £25 worth of diet soda a week.

Then one day it just twigged. I had to kick this habit. I was enduring so many negative responses from the diet soda that I just couldn't understand why I drank it. I have tried cutting down on the amount I consumed hundreds of times and so I knew the only way I was going to kick it was by going cold turkey. The first few days were the worst as I was literally having withdrawal systems but I stuck with it knowing it was for the best. Its been a couple of weeks since my cold turkey days and I have since drank four cans of diet soda (not all in one day) and to be honest I can't understand what the fuss was all about. I now much prefer to drink ice cold water.

I'm still in shock over my sudden transformation from diet soda addict to the occasional drinker and I can definitely feel and see a lot of benefits of my new love for water. My skin is much clearer, I am not bloated, I don't have my diet soda fueled mood swings and I definitely have saved a few pounds in my pocket.

If your like me and know you have an addiction to diet soda or you know that you drink a lot of it check out this website I found regarding diet soda addiction. http://www.dietdrinkaddiction.com/diet-coke-side-effects/
Although I wouldn't suggest swapping one drink to another the site does show that diet soda can be an addiction for some people.
Some of the comments on this side I can relate to which imprints it into my head even more that diet soda is not the way. Here are a few:

• Mood swings
• Hair loss
• Lack of concentration
• Fatigue
• Change in taste buds
• Migraines

I am now an advocate for drinking good old H2O, who would have thought it? Definitely not me!

*A day on track*

I get asked a lot by my friends who also use the Weightwatchers plan what I eat from day to day. So as I haven't done 'a day on track' post for a while I thought that I would share one of my days on plan with you.

This was this Tuesday's menu (weigh-in day).

 Breakfast:

Banana 0pp

Shredded wheat 4pp

Soya milk 1pp

 

  Lunch:

Tortilla wrap 3pp

Quorn fillets 2pp

Cucumber 0pp

Lettuce 0pp

Yellow pepper 0 pp

Strawberries 0 pp

Grapes 0 pp

Dinner: (I forgot to take a photo of mine so took a photo of the Grease Monkey's instead, I had Quorn fillets rather than Quorn nuggets)

Quorn fillets 2pp

Lettuce 0 pp

Cucumber 0pp

Variation of jewelled couscous 13pp

Further snacks:

Sharon fruit/persimmon/kaki 0pp

Apple 0 pp

Activia yogurt 3pp

WW crisps (I had these in my meeting and so didn't get a chance to take a photo) 2pp

Chocolate 11pp (I didn't get a photo of the wrapper either)





Total consumed: 38/42pp

So here is a typical day on track for me using the new propoints plan and so far its working on the scale.

I have a few posts that I'm working on and I hope to have up soon.

Have a fabulous week guys.

*Weekly Meeting - Planning for Christmas*

Around this time of year I seem to find that a lot of people I know begin to panic about Christmas and not just for finding gifts. Even people who are not following any kind of eating plan have a negative outlook on Christmas stating that they 'can't be bothered' as they 'know they are going to put on at least half a stone' over the Christmas period. Out of all the years that I have been on and off the Weightwatchers plan I can't remember ever dreading the festive season because of food. Although my weight has fluctuated over the past few years I know I cope best when I remember my tools learned by following the plan and as this weeks topic was planning for Christmas (I'm pretty sure next weeks topic will be the same too) what better time to start planning and using the tools suggested.

In the meeting we spoke mainly about the propoints values of 'normal' Christmas day food as this is the first Christmas all of us are having on the new plan it helps to be prepared. I guess I'm lucky in the sense that I don't eat meat and so the majority of buffet style foods that are reasonably high in pp values don't float my boat but boy oh boy do I find it hard to turn away the sweets and chocolates. Chocolate is easily my biggest downfall but cutting it out just doesn't work for me right now so I know that I will have to incorporate the consumption of chocolate into the day. Did you see what I just wrote there? Day? Yes, Christmas is just one day and so it should be treated that way or at least state Christmas will be 'christmas day and boxing day only', the more you mentally and psychically prepare for it the more successful your likely to be.

Apart from knowing the propoints values of the food your likely to consume and allocating a set day/days of celebration (and I don't mean a whole week here, I have easily gained more in a week than what I have lost in a month so keep that in mind) prepare a plan of what your going to eat and when. If you have decided to 'take the day off' on Christmas day I find it easier to state that I will eat 1 chocolate at say 2pm then I have to wait until 4pm until I can have another one. I look forward to that chocolate more than anything and when I do finally have it I'm super proud that I waited and had the will power to succeed in the small task I set myself. By doing that I am constantly praising myself with congratulations for my strength and will power, I get to eat something I love and it means I will consume less.

Another great idea is after the celebrations have ended get rid of any trigger foods that may call to you, for me that is chocolate. Give them away to friends or family, take them to a soup kitchen or take them to work. Although as I live with three other people and my sister and niece spend most of their time here too getting rid of food is out of the question so I have to constantly remind myself that unless I am willing to incorporate those said items into my daily/weekly allowance I am not to touch them, maybe just smell them.

Also don't forget that if you are following the new propoints plan you have a weekly allocation of 49 extra pp in which if you saved them could be used over your set day/days making sticking to the plan that much easier. As well as this don't forget that you can gain extra pp by doing some activity.

So there we have it. I have discussed:

• Allocating a set day/days to your celebrations - whether you plan to go off plan or not
• Allocating time slots for when you will consume your favourite things - by doing this I normally eat much, much less than I would if I decided to have a free for all.
• Plan meals for that day/days
• Save your weekly allowance for the said day/days
• Get rid of any trigger foods
• If your not going to point it don't eat it
• Earn some extra activity points
• Know your points values

That pretty much covers everything I have read and spoke about in this weeks meeting but I'm sure I will be able to add to this after next weeks meeting.

Now some of you may remember that it is my birthday soon after Christmas, in fact its new years day and I have been invited to my friends new years eve party and a birthday birthday a few days later. As I have a few days of celebrating myself I purchased a cute dress from ASOS and thought as I hadn't attached a photo for a while what better time to show you guys my new dress.

And just because it always makes me laugh, this is a little quote the grease monkey learned during his ten years in the army 'prior planning and preparation prevents piss-poor performance'. I always remind myself of this quote when I know I need to plan for something and it always seems to bring a smile to my face.

*A long awaited update*

If you follow me on twitter you will know that for the past four weeks I've had what my friends and I call a 'end of semester break down', this is where I go into total panic, rage and cry like a baby for weeks over my university work being hand-in. Thankfully that's now over until February so I have extra time to concentrate on me. Firstly I haven't neglected the propoints plan all together over the past four weeks, it just wasn't my concern at the time, my sanity was. So now I have finally finished this semester I can put 100% of me into the plan which is when I like everyone else see the best results. I read a lot of blogs and this quote always sticks in my head 'persistence, not perfection' and I think this couldn't be more true than right now. I haven't been on plan 100% but my determination and persistence of returning to the plan is better than giving up altogether.

As I have been away for a short while I do have a few things I would like to share and will do so in a number of posts over the next week. So watch this space.

I haven't done my goals since my last post so I thought now would be as better time than ever.

My goals this week:

• To pre-track my entire week - I like to pre-track so I have an idea of what to have that day but I sometimes change some items from day to day to suite my needs.
• Tweet my daily points consumed and allowance - I know a number of members from my Thursday class do this and they find it really helps. So with the mindset of tracking 100% I though this would give me a little bit more of an incentive to stay on track.
• Burn 3500kcal - Using the "Winning by Losing" theory of 3500kcal=1lb I have decided to set myself the task of burning this amount of the next week. Also I have neglected my HRM over the past month and I miss the number totting up on my wrist.

Have a fabulous week everyone and for those who feel like giving up remember the story of the tortoise and the hare, its not a race. Its about what you make of the journey and what you learn not how quickly you feel you need to complete it. Stay positive.

*Weekly Meeting Update - Activity*

As a mentioned in my previous post and via Twitter I finally realised after several weeks up taking and putting on the same few pounds I needed the discipline and support of my weekly meetings. Of course I knew whose meeting I wanted to go back to... my lovely leader Dawn. She is absolutely lovely and so helpful so if your in my area she runs a Tuesday class from 6:00pm at Goodmayes Primary School in Ilford or alternatively she runs two Thursday classes from 5:15 and 6:30pm at Old Dagenham Methodist Church.

So after changing my membership from online to weekly pass I am now officially attending weekly weigh-in's and meetings.

Now I just want to mention to those who may be hesitant as to whether they want to go back to classes or not, when I weighed in on Thursday at my meeting I was a whole 9lb heavier than I was when I weighed myself before I left for meeting. I'm honestly not upset that I weigh 9lb more than I thought because I know that I have already lost 10lb (I did this over the past month or so) so if I hadn't had lost that 10lb prior to my weigh-in I would have been 19lb heavier! I'm so happy that I decided to go back to my meetings and I know this really does work. So don't put it off, face the music and go to that meeting as you will be thankful you went.

So moving on to our meeting topic. As propoints is still rather new the group mainly focused on the daily and weekly allowance and the propoint values of food, however we did briefly get to talk about activity. This is my favourite topic to discuss because I get to add something new to my growing list of activities I like and enjoy to share with you and it makes me focus on my psychical and mental changes.

In the meeting we discussed how food collated to certain exercises and to be honest it was rather scary. It does make you question the types of food you pick and the amount of exercise that is required to work it off, is it worth it? In most cases I'm sure its not but that doesn't always change our decision to consume it. So my current weekly activities include:

• Aerobics, strength and stretch- I attend this class every Monday (Although I missed this weeks class due to being unwell) and I love every second of it. Its run by a woman named Chris in her 60's or 70's who is amazingly toned and lean. The class is an hour long and consists of aerobics, weight work, floor work, stretching and yoga poses. Its so much fun and can be a giggle especially if your like me and on the spot you cant tell the difference between left and right.
• Swimming - I have been enjoying my twice weekly swim since  August now and I really do look forward to it. Its an excellent low impact exercise.
• Wii - I hadn't used my Wii for some time but now I'm needing a daily stress release this has proven perfect for it and burns calories at the same time. I use a range of games from; just dance, just dance 2, biggest loser, wii sports and wii fit plus.

Apart from swimming I always wear my heart rate monitor  so I can work out my burned calories and how effective my workout is.

As its getting colder and darker a lot earlier I haven't used my bike for a while now so I think she may retire until spring now - unless I feel incredibly brave.

Accomplishments this week:

• I went back to my meeting - Although I knew I was going to go back to my weekly meetings it was still a big step to do so especially during hand-in time and so close to Christmas and my birthday.
• Activity - I have worked out a few days over the past week which has really helped me de-stress and burn calories.

Aims for next week:

• Attend my Monday class - Like I noted previously I didn't attend this Mondays class as I have been )and still are) unwell. I know I will go back because the class is so much fun and it makes me feel incredibly strong.
• Attend my weekly weigh-in - I know that I may not be able to stay for this Thursday's meeting but I will definitely be getting weigh-in (unless its closed due to the snow)
• Resistance bands - I reviewed these a few months ago and I loved them but after more back problems I stopped using them. I really want to put these back into my weekly routine.

I hope you all have a fantastic week and stay safe in the snow.

Roo xoxo

*Where it all began*

I wrote a few months ago how after reading Jillian Michaels "Winning by Losing" I had come to believe that I needed to stop dwelling on the past - past experiences, past events, past me. I still believe this to be right however I'm not sure I ever got to the real root of the reasons for my issues with weight. I wrote down some ideas of the reasons I felt I could be overweight but no exceptional light bulb experiences.

If your a regular reader of my blog you will know that I have been 'attempting' to stick to the Weightwatchers plan on my own using the online services. I really do believe that this works, no rephrase that, "it really does work" but after losing and gaining a few pounds I knew it was time for me to start attending classes - after all I personally do much better at class and I love the weekly meetings. However I know that I have 'been back to class' ample amounts of time so I was going to have to do something different this time.

So this time round I have decided to attend my weekly classes, and continue my exercise classes but also get to the real reason to my weight issues. I found "Winning by Losing" a real eye-opener and got me to understand some of the science behind it but I know I need something else to help me understand and confront my inner demons. As I enjoyed reading Jillian Michaels book I decided to try another. So this time around I have purchased and am currently reading "How to Lose Weight Without Dieting: Be the size you want to be for life" by Jessica Robbins.

Now I haven't read this book from cover to cover yet, but the introduction jumps straight into Robbins past and I could identify with so much of it. I never realised that half of what I heard I actually internalised and it affected me. Just reading a few pages I began to get teary eyed, things that I didn't think actually mattered did matter because now I was feeling a flood of overwhelming emotion. There are two main points that stuck out for me and Ill explain why here.

"You'll never be thin" this always ended with "because you have big bones", "because your just a big girl" or "because you have my genes". I never really realised how much this actually affected me. Just typing it has resulted in a huge lump in throat. I'm not advocating that the people who said this were being spiteful as they wasn't, I know what its like to be bullied, I guess it was a more of a 'gentle let down' as so I wouldn't get up set if I didn't lose any weight. But in actual fact saying this just made me believe that no matter what I'm always going to failing, I'm never going to be a healthy weight because i)I have big bones, ii) I'm just meant to be big and iii) my genetic make-up means I'm forever doomed to be overweight.

"He only has to look at bread and he puts weight on", insert what you will rather than bread, it could be anything but this was and still is something that is constantly said in my household and outside. Obviously its partly meant as a joke but if you constantly internalise this it has to be harmful in some way or another. I like many others I'm sure see food as 'evil', food is the reason why I'm fat and just looking at it makes me gain weight. This doesn't really create a healthy relationship with food.

Like it pin-points within the book, its all about self-esteem. If you lose the weight but don't face 'your demons' or your own personal reasons for gaining weight in the first case you are still going to be roughly the same person and for me its my self esteem, mine was low even at my thinnest because I hadn't tackled the issue.

So like I said previously this time around I'm going to attend my classes, continue my exercise and tackle my demons.

Have a fabulous week and for those who celebrated Thanksgiving - Happy Thanksgiving!

Roo

On a side note: I know I've been a little slack when it comes blogging recently but I have a few ideas of what I want to post I just need the time to sit down and write it.

*Weekly Update - Changing*

There has been a lot of hype for the forth coming release of Weightwatchers new Propoints plan and in all honesty I'm really excited. Normally I hate such a huge change (not that I would write that on my CV) it just causes so many second guesses and I hate the feeling of being unsure. I have read a lot of comments and also heard a lot of debates on the changing system which has made me reflect on the ever changing me.

On reflection I have changed a lot of the past few years, but more so than ever over the past month. I have overcome numerous hurdles over the past month (sometimes kicking and screaming) and some of these are things I thought I would never be able to do. I know that my mental health is changing, I'm beginning to think positively again and even more so then previous and to be honest I'm liking the new me. I'm not fighting against myself at the moment (which is what makes my weight loss journey so hard), I guess you could now call it a journey to inner peace. At the moment nothing feels as good as making a positive or good decision.

On Friday I weighed in... +2lb. I had GAINED 2lb? Hand on heart I really did stick to my point allowance, I couldn't understand why so on Saturday I Tweeted that I had had a rubbish morning and eaten a vast amount of junk. I ate that junk because I thought "whats the point?" I had gained 2lb for 'no reason'. Once I had eaten it I felt even worse then I did when the scale showed a gain and that's when I told myself, if I don't carry on then I'm always going to this weight or more likely heavier. So what if I gained 2lb! I lost 10lb the week before and I had accomplished things during the week I didn't think possible (I rode my bike on my OWN to a place a few miles away). So that was the end of my destruction. The best thing was, it took hours to realise my destructive actions rather than days or weeks.

As well as riding my bike and stopping my self-destruction I have also signed up to an aerobics class of a Monday. That's right people... aerobics! If you read my blog regularly please do not panic as my Monday night swim is changing to a Friday. There, panic avoided.

I can't help but feel happy knowing that I'm taking steps to be the best of what I can be however big or small they are.

Accomplishment's:

• I rode my bike to somewhere new - I rode nearly 7 miles and burned 900kcal! 
• I tracked 6/7 days - my missing day was Saturday, I did try to track everything but being a binge I lost count of a lot of what I ate however I did stay to plan for the rest of the day.
• I had my 'me time'

Goals:

• Try something new - My last weeks try something new is my aerobics class tonight so I know I can tick this one off next week.
• Track all week - I will be giving even more attention to this, this week as its the launch of Propoints. Excitement!
• Take my calcium tablets - I don't consume a lot of diary through choice and I take medication (nothing serious) which as a side effect can decrease bone density and after the issues which my back and chest decided to do what was advised and purchase some supplements. Now I just have to take them.

And just to imprint the fact that I will be ticking off one of my goals, here is me getting ready to go to my aerobics class. (I'll let you know whether I survive)

Have a fabulous week guys and gals.

Roo xoxo

*Weekly Update - Lunch*

This week has been about getting back on track, not just for pyshical health but also for my mental health. Like I said recently, I needed me time. I was beginning to lose focus on the bigger picture but thankfuly I'm back and close to top form.

Recently I read an article in my local newspaper regarding children's lunches. The article blasted many families for providing unhealthy packed lunches and snacks to their children and I was shocked to see the majority of lunches consisted of chocolates, crisps, baked goods and chocolate spread sandwiches. As you can see a lot of processed junk but when I thought about a typical lunch time meal for me pre Weightwatchers I wouldnt think twice about consuming a cheese and onion pasty (sometimes two) followed by a triple chocolate muffin and a bag of crisps... not forgetting my diet coke (This is sometimes still the case!). Thats easily one and a half times my point allowance for the day and that was just one meal!

Now yes, I am pointing so theres no way I would chose to eat all of those foods now but it made me realise that to make my points allowance stretch I was consuming the same thing every single day. I'm not saying thats a bad thing, its worked for me in the past but it does become boring after a while so I decided to spice things up this week by having something different for my lunch every day.

As I changed my lunch every day I found some of my new favourite things to eat.  My favourite thing to eat at the moment has to be pitta pizza's. I love this so much (because of the ease and time) I will be doing a post on this so you can see how I do mine. I also love Quorn and veggie wraps as well as homemade soup. what do you like to eat at lunch?

Moving on...

My achievements this week:

• I tracked all week. Yes, thats right, every single day!
• I walked further on the days I didnt swim
• I lost 10lb! - Yes, you read that right. 10lb! I'm back to 18stone. Also thank you for my lovely comments on Twitter on my loss... you made my day :)

My aims/plans for next week:

• Continue to track - its obviously working.
• Put aside some me time
• Up-date my i-pod - I need some new tunes, if you have any ideas let me know
• Try something new - It doesnt matter whethers it food or activity, just try something new

Wishing you all a fabulous week!

Roo xoxo

*Honesty - Being the best of what I can be*

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post called "The best of what I can be" and within this I explained that after some tragic news I began to sum up my life. I thought at the time that I was finally beginning to accept myself for who I was regardless of my flaws however, over the past two weeks I have found it hard to cope with. Like the majority of food abusers I turned to comfort eating and allowed myself to be part of the vicious cycle of comfort eating and hating myself for doing it.


If I'm honest (and I will be) I won't ever get over the death of H, nor have I ever got over the killing of my two school friends and the suicide of another. I have cried for endless hours and I feel like I have no more tears left to cry but that does not mean it no longer hurts. It still hurts bad. But now I need to take some time out for me. I need to be the best of what I can be, after all that's how I will always remember you all. But now I need me time.

Me time....

As I have done nothing but comfort eat for the past two weeks my weight has ballooned to 18stone 10lb. Which means I have put on close to a stone (or 14lb) within two weeks and am at my all time highest ever weight. Yes I'm annoyed at being another stone heavier but I'm ready to face up to the fact that I have treated my body unfairly for the past two weeks. I have had a continuous migraine which I believe to be partly a result of eating rubbish processed food so believe me, I have suffered.

Here I am at 18stone 10lb (this was taken today).

I know for me getting back and track and staying on track is the hardest thing for me when using the Weightwatchers plan. At the start I want to get the most bang for my buck but I know I am often tempted to eat processed junk. For now I think I will concentrate on sticking to my points allowance.

My method for a week back on track or any other day for that matter:

• Track - I'm using the tracker on e-source to calculate all of my intake as well as using a paper journal for when I'm on the move.
• Point allowance - I recalculated my points allowance to which I'm allocated 27 points per day.
• Exercise - I still swim twice a week but I am hoping to sign up to a aerobics class on a Monday (I am waiting for confirmation of this). I also plan to do the recommended 30 minutes of exercise per day on the other fours day, this will more than likely be walking.
• Weigh - I know that for me to be successful I need to weigh everything, no "guess-ti-mating".

This week is going to be different. This week I am going to be the best of what I can be!

Roo

xoxo

*Weekly Post - Planning and the Biggest Loser*

Firstly... Biggest Loser Season 8... WOW! I absolutely loved Danny, not only because he was super gorgeous but also because he spoke to me on a personal level. The majority of the things he said touched my heart and he was always the one to win for me. Secondly Rebecca who won the at home challenge looked like a totally different person. They both prove that the concept of exercise and calorie counting does work.

As my weekly timetable has been pretty much jam packed due to uni, work and exercise I have had to plan my day down to the last minute. So what better subject could I discuss than planning. Now I'm not going to sit here and say that I know exactly what I'm doing all the time, as I really don't but that then becomes a situation where I know that I need to use my other Weight watcher tools such as my Weight watchers calculator and picking lower/healthier point alternatives. As well as this I constantly remind myself that I do best by keeping to my plan and by tracking everything that passes my lips.

There are a number of ways to plan and in fact save you time:

• Plan your meals - I like to plan my meals every morning as I know what food is available that day. However I know a lot of people that track weekly and they find that it works just as well. Its finding out what works best for you.
• Plan and cook in bulk - If I know that I have a lecture that ends at 8pm I either cook double the night before and refrigerate the rest for the following day so when I get in around 9 I can just heat it up. If I know I don't have much time to cook during the week I will have a cook off on a Sunday, putting my food in containers for during the week and either freezing them or refrigerating them.
• Eating out - If I have spare cash (we all know what its like to be a student at some point) I will eat a meal at my Uni, by planning what I'm going to eat I save points, stick to plan and save myself some cash. Bonus!
• Exercise- Not only is planning a excellent tool for successful weight loss but its also essential for me in regards to exercise. Like I said before, calorie counting and exercise go hand in hand with each other.

I'm sure there are a number of other occasions and ways to plan but these are just a few I use on a daily basis.

I haven't commented on my achievements and goals for a while now so here it goes.

Achievements:

• I am still swimming twice a week! I absolutely love it and always look forward to going. If you follow me on Twitter you will have read that whilst swimming I was referred to as "fatty" last week, thinking about it I haven't actually tweeted that for once this hasn't destroyed my confidence or motivation. Instead its made me even more determined to keep going. So thank you to the rude little boy for calling me fat.
• I am tracking every day and are even tweeting what I eat today. I have done this for a while so I was strangely excited to restart this morning.
• I have stayed the same for the past two weeks. This seems to happen a lot so I'm making a conscious decision to try a few tips on how to move past my plateau. I will update you on my findings.

My goal for next week:

• Track, track, track. I know that by continuing to track I should be able to push past this plateau and begin to lose the old poundage again.

I have a pretty busy week ahead so one of the best ways to keep in contact with me, read my random commuting comments, keep informed of my newly acquired insults, my daily food in take or just to ping me a message feel free to add me here Twitter .

Also let me know of any of your own tools or planning techniques, as I would love to hear them.

Have a fabulous week.


Roo
xoxo

*Being the Best of What I Can Be*

After a recent tragedy I keep replaying in my head that I am not going to be here for ever. As statistics go to show I am likely to have another forty years tops and as morbid as it is I can't help but fixate on the fact that I feel that I am wasting my life being so unhappy. The easy thing for me to do is to just get on with my life and force myself to accept me for all my flaws but deep down I know that's not the answer.

The answer for me is to pull my finger out of my a$$ and do something that makes me happy. I know to be happy I need to love myself, yes for my flaws but also because I know that I am the best of what I can be.

The idea of my own mortality scares the jeepers out of me, after all I don't know whether I will see tomorrow let unknown retirement. This makes me question certain things about myself; where I was, where I am at and where I want to be. Previously I was in a place where I longed for someone to say "I'm here to help you and make you happy" as if it was some kind of switch that I needed to have turned on. I am at a place now where I am starting to understand that I need to work at being happy, I can't just expect to be happy. I need to listen to my desires to be happy. I need to do what I know is right. I need to be healthy, I need to make time for myself, I need to do what is best for me and do what makes me happy.

I know that to be happy I need to be the best of what I can be and part of that is through changing my lifestyle. I currently swim twice a week and I love every single minute of it. I no longer feel the need to be dependent and I thrive on the feeling of independence. I am working on changing my lifestyle and no longer put myself down for the smallest of things. I could go on to say that I am finally feeling a hint of happiness.

But until I am the best of what I can be I think I am doing a pretty good job.

To be continued...

Roo xoxo

*Activity*

If you follow me on Twitter or are a regular reader of my blog you will more than likely have concluded that due to my lack of posts and my Tweets that I have been unwell for the past week. That's right guys, I have endured a week (so far) of a full on cold, sore throat, ear ache, headaches, back ache, muscle cramps and you guessed it...fever. I guess I had it coming.

Any how. While my head is only partially thumping, my nose is only slightly dripping and I am going through a hot flush I thought I would write a quick post as I haven't blogged in a while. Please note that I do have a few topics in which I want to post however they still need some adjustments and I just feel to poorly to write anything that could be perceived as logical thinking.

Firstly I want to thank Becky for nominating me for "The Versatile Blogger Award"!

This week I thought that I would briefly mention activity as its something that has been lacking in my routine for the past week. Although I have swam twice this week as part of my routine I haven't actually done any other activity. Yes, shock horror right. For me activity is just as important as the tracking, after all it is part of my whole lifestyle change. Now don't get me wrong, I have been unwell this week and surprised even myself by still going swimming but I know that activity is something that once I start feeling better I need to work back into my daily routine for a number of reasons.

Now we all know that exercise is suggested to help lead a healthy lifestyle. As well as that activity for me allows me to de-stress as it gives me time to think, whether it be about day to day occurrences or a time to think and plan for the future. Not only that but for me it is an empowering experience, I never feel as good as I do after a good workout. I'm putting that time aside for me in my consistently hectic life, that's empowering just within itself.

So what type of activity to enjoy?

• Walking - I love to switch on my i-Pod and take to the streets with my trusty dog by my side. Often its a fight to see who gives up first.
• Swimming - I have always loved swimming and swam for both my primary and secondary school. It gives me time to think and talk to my friend. This is defiantly my preferred choice of therapy.
• Bike riding - I love to ride my bike. Its a great feeling to have the wind blowing on your face and the miles fly by.
• Wii - As you know I enjoy to use some of the Wii Fit games to mix up my routine and have done some reviews on a couple of them in the past.
• Resistance bands - I <3 these with a passion. These make me feel so strong and I can't help but make myself laugh when I pull some rather strange faces. You know the type you see at the gym when the guys are lifting weights.

So theres just a few of my favorite choices of activity and I'm sure I will add to this list in the future.

I know this is only a brief look at the concept of activity however like I said I don't feel like I can make sense of any topic and go into the depth that it needs at present.

With that I wish you all a fab week. I'm off to dose up on my trusty cold and flu tablets :)

Roo xoxo

* Weekly Update - Setting Goals *

This weeks topic is about setting goals in your life (taken from Weight watchers e-source) outside of weight loss. Many of my goals are actually effected by weight, or should I re-phrase that as 'I allow them to be effected by my weight'. Either way I have goals in which I will accomplish within my life.

It is suggested that a four step plan is put in use to aid you in achieving that goal.

Desire - Which requires the individual to assess whether they desire the finished product enough to motivate them to the end. This seems like the easiest part of the four step plan yet when I compare this to certain goals that I believe to really have desired (for instance reaching my goal weight) I find it hard to come to terms with the idea that if my motivation has previously dwindled, it was a possible result of not desiring the finished product.

Belief - Do I believe that I deserve this? Hell yes I do!

Expectations - Shout your goal from the roof tops! I like this one the most as I know this really does work for me. For example I know that telling everyone that I will complete my 300 mile challenge, ending on New Years Eve aka the eve of my 24th birthday will mean that I will complete. I've already told everyone I'm going to do and I will look like a Muppet if I don't.

Action - This simply means whats on the tin. The individual taking action to reach that goal. Whether it be me going out and walking around the block to add to my 300 mile challenge or whether it be joining a workshop class, taking part in your own challenge, signing up for a local bike tour or even signing up to the job centre. What ever it is, once you have taken that first step your goal will be that much closer.

 So moving on to my weekly achievements and goals...

Achievements

• Consuming my 5 A DAY has become a habit. I find myself consuming much more veg, fruit, beans and pulses than ever before. I can really feel the difference physically and mentally. I have an half written post on 5 A DAY which I hope to have up some time during the week.
• I have made a positive decision to walk where ever and when ever I can rather than taking public transport. Although I have decided not to put these figures against my 300 mile challenge.
• I have upped my swimming to twice a week as well as my normal daily routines and my 300 mile challenge. The first few weeks really played havoc with my back and chest but I feel that I am starting to see a change in my back and shoulder movement so I will carry on.

Goals

• Track, Track and Track - I feel I did really well this week in regards to tracking as I journald everything I ate and drank.
• Keep to points allowance - Although I did track everything I found that on some days I went over my allowance by an considerable amount, in some cases I consumed double my daily allowance. However I did use my banked activity points as well as banked points from other days so by the end of the week it somewhat leveled out.
• Continue my 300 mile challenge - so far I have banked 5.34miles and so am nearly 10 miles behind my set weekly quota! I underestimated how much extra walking was required but a challenge is a challenge and I hate to lose.

Have a great week everyone.

Roo xoxo

* Weekly Update - Setting a Challenge *

If you do not already know, I'm a huge fan of the "Biggest Loser" and I draw a lot of my inspiration from the show and its contestants. So its not a big surprise that yet again I have been inspired to do something.

Last year on the Biggest Loser the contestants ran/jogged/walked a whole marathon which inspired me to give off my butt and do something. Now I'm a very competitive person and I hate to lose (which is weird when I considered my weight loss and my inability to win against myself own self), I hate losing bad! I remember hitting a girl (who will remain nameless) over the head with a cricket bat after she told me I had hit the wicket (please note that I was very young). I didn't hit the wicket. But I am very sorry and luckily we are still friends (she must be crazy right?). So what does my inability to lose have to do with the Biggest Loser?

I am setting myself my own challenge! I know that I'm a lot more capable of certain things than I let myself believe. I proved this during my workouts a number of times. Got to love those planks.

So whats the challenge I hear you say...

The challenge is to walk 300 miles between now and New Years Day also being my 24th birthday. And just because with all challenges there rules (I love rules), my 300 miles has to be additional walking, not my normal everyday walking and workout routine. No, no. I'm doing this the hard core way.

So now I have divulged my personal challenge to you I'll move on to my normal goals and accomplishments this week.

This week has been far from perfect but I have still achieved at some things.

• I tracked everyday - Although I didn't stick to my allowance any of those 7 days I tracked everything which made me feel accountable and also made me see how much I really do eat when not fully on track.
• I added a new exercise routine in the form of swimming - I now swim every Wednesday with my close friend and we are actually off there tonight.
• I have reassessed my 5 A Day intake and have been working on that for a while now - I have an up and coming post on this topic so watch this space.

My goals for this week (my post is a few days late so I have already started this week)

• Contribute to my 300 mile challenge
• Carry on tracking and stick to allowance
• Pre-track in the mornings - I have been doing this for the past few days and it has really helped in so far.
• Work on my 5 A Day

So that's my accomplishments and goals for this week.

I hope you all have a great week.

If anyone would like to take part in my challenge please let me know :)

Roo xoxo

* Fitness Fun - The Biggest Loser Game *

I recently posted that I had purchased "The Biggest Loser" game for the Wii. Like with most games I was sceptical at first and didn't really expert much. After all its just a game. So when I saw it on Amazon for less than ten quid I snatched it right up. I'm a huge kid when it comes to things like this and I get excited very easily. But I did try to get my mature and more reserved hat on.

So I set myself up detailing my weight, height, age and gender and picked my character (I loved Michelle from the series so I picked my character with ease). Rather than go into a full routine I decided just to browse and pick what I wanted to do. In total I initially used the game for about an hour. But be warned...

Half way through one of the exercises I picked I nearly burst into tears! Yes, that's right. I nearly cried over a freaking game! But no, wait, this is no game. If you take the exercises seriously and put your all into it, it really does get your heart pumping and your muscles burning. I felt the burn like never before.

So baring in mind that I only wanted to "play around" with the "game" I had already done my daily workout and so really had two workouts. Now hand on heart, I woke up the next day and it hurt (although I like having that ache from a good workout) to sit down so much that I nearly peed myself because I had to lower myself down. I must have used muscles in my legs and thighs that I hadn't used in a long time.

I've used it nearly every other day since and I defiantly think that this is a great workout for me. The majority of the routines are around 18-25 minutes long (Note: I'm only on beginner) so I try to work in other aspects into my routine but this is defiantly a start.

Some of the features the game has are recipes, calorie counter (you in put your own calories), tips, routines, quick choice on exercises, challenges and a weekly weigh-in dun-dun-duarrrrr.

Overall I give this "game" two thumbs up and would suggest to everyone. Its a great variation from my other routines and my painful thighs show that it targets other muscle groups that could be missed. For around £10.00 whose complaining?

If you have tried and tested or want me to try and test any other Wii exercise games please leave a comment detailing what it is and let us all know how it is alternatively you can mail me here:)

Roo xoxo

* Weekly update - Post Binge and Nominations *

Firstly I wanted to say a huge thank you to Lex  (please check her out, she has lost an amazing amount of weight) for nominating me for " The Versatile Blogger" award (I'm sorry it has taken me a while to post this but it really does mean a huge deal to me). It keeps me motivated knowing that people read and appreciate my blog. Thank you again!

So rules state that I had to share seven things about myself. And just because I love talking about myself this is pretty easy.

1. I love holidays! I don't mean the type were you go to Spain. No, I mean Easter, Christmas, Halloween, Bon-fire night etc.
2. I love anything scary - I love a good old scary movie and I love to read about crimes, mysteries and murders. Gore-tastic!
3. I work full-time with children and I am also a full-time student of a degree in Special Educational Needs and Inclusive Education. I adore what I do and wouldn't change it for the world.
4. I hate raw tomatoes with a passion
5. I'm growing my hair with the intentions to have it cut off and made into a wig for a child who has lost their hair as a result of cancer treatment.
6. I often get asked if I am of Italian or Mediterranean heritage - As far as I know I'm not. Put will keep you posted on this :)
7. I have a passion for music and anything Rock n' Roll - I <3 Buddy Holly!

So there are my seven things about me. Now for my nominations...

Now don't get me wrong, I really do read a lot of blogs but my favourites are the ones that I can identify with. I don't want to leave anyone out so I suggest that you check out my "blogs that I follow" bit on my profile. However I did want to do a shout out to a few ladies that keep me motivated and make me laugh when no one else can. For that I thank you.

• Miss Frangipani
• Liz
• Tricia
• Lindsay

Moving on to my weekly update...

This weekend has all been about getting back on track. If you read my previous post you will know that I had a binge that lasted four whole days. The first thing I needed to do and my least favourite thing I had to do was weigh-in and find out the damage. So, it shows a gain of 6lb. I know what I have to do to change it, and as Abby said on the Biggest Loser as a reason for wanting to shift the lbs "I was to live and not just exist". I know I can do this.

My goals for next week are:

• Track every single day - I've pre-tracked everything, setting myself a meal guide for the week. This should help to keep me on track
• Work-out - I haven't worked-out for a few days due to being in a lot of pain but I can walk now so if it means I walk as my means of exercise I will. There's nothing wrong with that.

Have a great week guys.

Roo xoxo

* "No One's in Control But Me" - Dealing With a Binge *

"No one's in control but me" - Shay

This quote couldn't be more useful to me than right now. I've had one of my lowest weeks in a long time in which I pretty much gorged on anything and everything I could find. I'm being honest when I say I binged so much that I was physically sick. Yes, that's right. I vomited due to eating so much junk. I ate and ate for a full four days straight. Admittedly this isn't the longest binge for me but I have never eaten so much that I vomited. Never. I felt pretty embarrassed of what I had done and shut myself off from everyone. After all who am I to say anything about weight-loss and fitness when I choose to eat such an substantial amount of food that I vomited.

But I'm over being ashamed of my actions and feeling like a failure! After all Jillian (Biggest Loser) said that to be successful you need to "redefine your view of failure. Its a learning process, you have to make a few mistakes to learn".

So logically the first thing I had to do was pin-point the reasons why I binged.

1. I was home alone for ten hours a day and decided to take advantage of the situation
2. I was in a lot of pain due to my chest and back and thought that the only thing that would make me feel better would be to feed my emotions (as you all have probably experienced this hardly ever works and you end up feeling worse, creating a never ending cycle).
3. Due to being in so much pain (to the point where I could hardly move) I was unable to workout and thought it best I give myself the week off - WTF?

So now that I was able to pin-point the reasons for my binge I had to tell myself to stop. I had to kept saying out loud to myself "The binge is over. Its behind me and I'm going to move on.".

So to sum my binge up - I have not failed. Nor do I believe that I have taken a step back. Yes I made a mistake but I have learned from what has happened because after all this is a learning process. And like another blogger recently wrote I don't believe that "I know or have heard of anyone that has got to goal without making a [mistake]", whatever the mistake may be. I'm happy and I'm ready to move forward.

Roo xoxo

*Food as Fuel - Part 1*

The concept of "food as fuel" is something that I don't feel I can sum up in only one post so for now I will detail how I have finally realised what the concept is all about

I never really latched onto the idea of "food as fuel" at the end of the day I always believed that no matter what I ate it was always going to "fuel" my body so that it functioned. I have read book after book, website after website, been to meeting after meeting and seen show after show about how energy or sugar levels can affect our choice of food, our mood and our overall thought processes. I believed myself to be somewhat of an expert on what should be eaten. After all the majority of us know what should be eaten but its the doing it that makes the difference but its also about what works for us. We are all unique. Our bodies function differently to our friends and families and thrive off of things that some people may not.

Finding what works for me is a step towards the realisation that this isn't a diet, this is a lifestyle change and something that I will have to continue for the rest of my life. Understanding that it is a lifestyle change could and should be a topic of its own but I feel its the one thing that connects all the little things (realisations, doing's,) together. As knowing what works for me is inevitably going to make my journey to goal and through maintenance better, as well as fueling my body so it functions to its peak.

The concept of "food as fuel" has been mentioned time and time again but I finally realised what it was about. A great example of this was during my workout's this week. For breakfast I normally eat cereal with soya milk or soya yogurt with fruit, however one particular day I ate toast for breakfast. No big deal right. Wrong! I waited for my food to settle and got ready for my workout. By about ten minutes into my workout I felt light headed and as if I was going to pass out. I literally had no energy. I decided to stop, take a breather and collect my thoughts. I couldn't work out what had changed. I had done everything like I normally did and yet I felt so weak. The only thing that I had changed was my breakfast, I had eaten toast rather than cereal or yogurt and fruit. I ate my lunch and went back to my workout of which I managed to complete. Thinking that it could have been the toast I decided to try it out again.

The next day I tried the same thing. Again I felt really weak and lightheaded. Believing it was the toast that was making me feel the way I did and affecting my workouts so much I decided to see how I would feel the next day if I ate my normal breakfast. I did this and had an amazing workout. I didn't change anything apart from the food that I consumed and I had totally different results. Since then I've stuck to my normal breakfast and I have never felt weak or lightheaded.

Now this may seem really small and insignificant to some but for me this is a huge deal. I finally got my head around the idea of eating to fuel my body. I can see that my body functions better on certain types of food than others. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I'm going to stop eating bread altogether because I'm not but what I will say is toast is not something that I could eat on its own, it doesn't fuel my body in the way in which I need it to and I have found better "fuel" for my body to help it function to what and how I currently want it to function.

Like I mentioned previously, "food as fuel" is a topic that is more than what I have written in this post and so have decided to spread it across a number of posts. Food as fuel isn't just about picking cereal and fruit over toast in the morning, but it is defiantly a start!

Roo xoxo

*She's a Maniac - Jogging Journal*

Shes a maniac, maniac on the floor. If your familiar with the song you will know its in reference to dancing but whilst pounding the old treadmill I realised how the lyrics really summed up my journey.

Jogging is something that I always hated as a child. Although I played a lot of sports which involved running around, the idea of jogging just for the sake of it did not appeal to me what so ever. In fact when it came to participating in cross-country at school I always made sure I got my laps double ticked by a friend so I completed my laps in half the time. So it came as a pretty big shock when I suddenly became interested in jogging and running.

I read a lot of blogs and one in particular comes to mind of a beautiful young woman named Tricia who has lost over 120lbs through eating right and initially walking which later turned into running. Whenever I read her blog I always come away with the urge to run around the block. So I thought that I would just put my trainers on and do it. What am I waiting for?

So with my I-Pod in one hand and my heart rate monitor strapped on, I decided to warm up by power walking and told myself that I would jog and walk on and off. I used markers on the clock to tell me when to stop and start running. Now I walk a lot and for long distances but my lungs and throat felt as if they were on fire, but it was so worth it. I ran a lot further than I thought I would or could. I was so overcome by emotions (pain, excitement, nervousness, joy) that I could barely hold back the tears. I must have looked like a maniac!

I really did jog (dance) like I've never jogged (danced) before.

I had so many things just race through my head. I was seriously on a high. It was the most amazing feeling. So I want to thank Tricia for inspiring me to go and pound the streets (in my case the treadmill).

"Maniac" really is a thought provoking song for me and I will also associate this song with my first real run that wasn't against my own will...

A few other lyrics I love...

Its push-shove world but there's always a chance, if the hunger stays the night. - This really sums it up for me at the moment. I have a chance and will succeed if my hunger for my goal is there.

Struggling, stretching for the peak, never stopping with her head against the wind. - Never stop, no matter how hard it gets.

So thank you Tricia for being such an amazing person and mother, you have inspired me to start running. I only hope that my relationship with running will continue to be that of a positive one!

Have a awesome day!

Roo aka Speedy Gonzales xoxo

*Recipe - Blueberry Hot Cakes*

This is easily my favorite recipe to date. Its low in points, super easy to make and extremely quick.

Again this was taken from September's issue of "Cook Vegetarian".

Ingredients: (Like always I modified the recipe to suit my taste)

100g Blueberries
175g Self Raising Flour
1/2 tsp of Bicarbonate of Soda
2 Eggs

Zest of 1/2 an orange

150ml Soya Milk

Total = 12 points

You could also add...

Sugar or Splender to sweeten if you desire.

The recipe states to add yoghurt (as pictured) however I decided against this mainly because I forgot.

Maple syrup

After weighing out my ingredients I added the flour, bi-carb of soda and eggs into a mixing bowl.

I whisked these together adding the milk bit by bit.

Once all the lumps had gone I stirred in the blueberries and orange zest. (If you decide to use sugar/sweetener, now is the time to add it - or alternatively you could add this at the end or replace it with maple syrup)

After the mixture has had a good stir heat up a pan and spray it with your choice of oil (please remember to add the points of your chosen oil to the overall amount at the end if you are not using Fry Light) and allow to heat.

I worked out that 2.5 tbsp was enough mixture to make a reasonable sized hotcake. Once the sides of the hotcake have firmed slightly turn the hot cake over and cook the other side.

Ta Dar!

These really do taste absolutely amazing and please the toughest of critics (my dad).

All together this recipe makes 12 hotcakes and comes to 12 points in total, which = 1 point per hot cake. (Don't forget to add extra points dependent on your choice of oil, sugar/sweetener or maple syrup)

These store OK for a day but I'm not sure past that as they have never been around that long in my household.

Enjoy guys!

Roo xoxo

*Weekly Update - Accomplishments*

This past week has definitely been one to remember for all the right reasons. I recently blogged about my revelation thanks to Jillian Michaels book titled "Winning by Losing" and have enforced my positive thinking throughout the week.  I'm really hoping that this eventually becomes a habit rather than a conscious decision. However at the moment I am thankful that I am capable of just viewing my appearance, actions and overall mentality, positively. This has undoubtedly made a huge change on my whole outlook.

Not only did a have a mental revelation but I also had a clothing one too. My previous weekly update detailed how after losing 11lb I was having difficultly finding clothes that fit me. My size 22 trousers were huge (around 3" too big) however when I tried on the next size down the trousers were too tight. So when I went clothes shopping at the weekend I wasn't expecting to find any bottoms that fit me. So it was even more of a surprise when I tried on a skirt in a size 20 (a size smaller than normal) and it came up to big! It kept falling down. I nearly screamed with delight in the changing rooms but held it back instead by jumping up like a deranged person. If you haven't guessed dear blog readers I eventually (after much jumping around and waving my arms) purchased a size 18. Yes that's right. A size freaking 18! Get in there!

(My cute size 18 skirt)

And just because everything comes in three's I have had some amazing workouts this week with a mixture of resistance bands, Wii Fit steps, dance and my new favourite "Biggest Loser" for the Wii. I will do a whole post dedicated to this new purchase but I absolutely love it! It has definitely added something new to my routine.

So to sum it up...

My accomplishments this week:

• I tried a new recipe which I stated I wanted to do in last weeks goals.
• I drunk plenty of fluids
• I tracked 5/7 days - I'm getting there
• I stayed the same on the scale
• I worked-out 6 days this week - This included taking Patch for a walk/jog at our local forest

(As you can see he is totally cream crackered)

My aims for next week:

• Track 7/7 days
• Keep up the fluid intake - I'm sure this is becoming a habit rather than a conscious decision
• Work-out
• Try a new recipe
• Continue with my positive thoughts

And just to start the week off well regarding my aims for next week... I love this photo because not only am I smiling but I feel super happy mentally too. What more could someone ask for!

Have an amazing week guys,

Roo xoxo

*Positive Thought Processes*

If you follow me on Twitter you will know that I recently purchased "Winning by Losing" by Jullian Michaels (the no nonsense, kick-your-butt coach from the Biggest Loser). I will do an entire post on this book in the future however I wanted to share a few things while they are fresh in my head.

Positive thought processes or positive thinking is something that I really did believe I used on a daily basis. I always reminded myself that the glass was half full and not half empty (this doesn't mean that I always believed it, I just tried to reinforce that attitude) but after reading the first section in the book entitled "Self" I have realised that actually I am really negative person. Not in the aspect of negative towards others or to certain events but towards myself. I have really put myself down and have attached very negative thoughts and emotions towards my appearance, my health, my capabilities and to be blunt my overall self-worth. Now I'm sure this is the case for the majority of people and not just those who are battling with their weight and fitness. But why? Why do I perceive myself so negatively?

I thought that was a pretty simple question to answer, but in actuality its not. As a child I always knew that I was bigger than the other children my age and even more so when at the age of seven I was bullied the whole way through primary school. As I got older I compared myself even more to my friends and people from magazines, resulting in me abusing my body through food and then starvation. But Jillian probes at more questions than just  bullying and images from magazines, she questions whether previous relationships (romantic, friendship or family) have made you feel inadequate. All of these I have endured at some point.

To some degree I still question whether these are contributing factors to my weight issues or whether they are excuses for my inability to control what and how I eat. However whether that's the case or not Jillian states that to be able to move, think positively and adopt a healthy lifestyle the person in question (me) must forget about previous points in my battle with my weight such as when I was at my thinnest, and think about now. Right now. Today and the future. Yes, its hard to do and I'm still getting my head around it but logically it makes sense. I'm setting myself up to fail if I constantly compare myself to how I was. I am a different person now to what I was when I was at my thinnest.

Jillian also states that to perceive yourself positively you must change your negative thoughts about yourself and concentrate on the things about you that are positive. For example today I had an amazing workout and I really pushed myself like I haven't before and found that I am actually a lot stronger than I thought and my stamina and endurance also excelled my expectations (I actually tweeted that I felt super strong). Previously I would have been caught up and thinking that I wasn't doing certain exercises right, my leg wasn't high enough or I didn't dip as low as everyone else when doing lunges. And to be totally honest I really couldn't care. The positive feelings far out-weighed the negative.

So next time rather than thinking what I did wrong I will think what I did right. Whether it be choosing an apple over a cake or pushing myself harder rather than getting caught up on what others are doing.

Ciao,
Positive Thinking Roo
xoxo