* "No One's in Control But Me" - Dealing With a Binge *

"No one's in control but me" - Shay

This quote couldn't be more useful to me than right now. I've had one of my lowest weeks in a long time in which I pretty much gorged on anything and everything I could find. I'm being honest when I say I binged so much that I was physically sick. Yes, that's right. I vomited due to eating so much junk. I ate and ate for a full four days straight. Admittedly this isn't the longest binge for me but I have never eaten so much that I vomited. Never. I felt pretty embarrassed of what I had done and shut myself off from everyone. After all who am I to say anything about weight-loss and fitness when I choose to eat such an substantial amount of food that I vomited.

But I'm over being ashamed of my actions and feeling like a failure! After all Jillian (Biggest Loser) said that to be successful you need to "redefine your view of failure. Its a learning process, you have to make a few mistakes to learn".

So logically the first thing I had to do was pin-point the reasons why I binged.

1. I was home alone for ten hours a day and decided to take advantage of the situation
2. I was in a lot of pain due to my chest and back and thought that the only thing that would make me feel better would be to feed my emotions (as you all have probably experienced this hardly ever works and you end up feeling worse, creating a never ending cycle).
3. Due to being in so much pain (to the point where I could hardly move) I was unable to workout and thought it best I give myself the week off - WTF?

So now that I was able to pin-point the reasons for my binge I had to tell myself to stop. I had to kept saying out loud to myself "The binge is over. Its behind me and I'm going to move on.".

So to sum my binge up - I have not failed. Nor do I believe that I have taken a step back. Yes I made a mistake but I have learned from what has happened because after all this is a learning process. And like another blogger recently wrote I don't believe that "I know or have heard of anyone that has got to goal without making a [mistake]", whatever the mistake may be. I'm happy and I'm ready to move forward.

Roo xoxo