*Enablers and Saboteurs*

If you have read my previous post on my love confession you will be aware that I have had this post in mind for a little while now. I never really gave much thought to this concept before as I always knew who my saboteur was however when the concept of enablers emerged it made me look a little differently at my surroundings.Now don't get me wrong this is a finger pointing post at all, its more of a psychological awakening that I thought I would share.

I've always known that I am my own saboteur as its me that allows myself to fail no one else. However when Ruby mentioned the concept of enablers I was intrigued by the concept and soon starting questioning whether this was something that affected my life.

Enabler - An enabler, is a person who by their actions make it easier for an addict to continue their self-destructive behavior by criticizing or rescuing

I thought about this in a very narrow minded way at first, concentrating on only what I was encountering at the time. However when I thought back throughout my 20+ years I have realised that I have been in contact with this for most of my life. For example at a young age I was bullied at school as a result of my weight however my parents always made sure I ate everything on plate which included foods I didn't like as well as eating when I was already full. As I got to the age of 10 I convinced my parents to let me 'diet' by only eating three meals a day that were regarded as healthy and not allowing me to eat any snacks. I soon dropped a few pounds but that's when I was told that I should stop, I didn't need to lose weight as I looked ill (I was about 10stone at this time and only 11 years of age so I was still pretty big).

As I went to secondary school the same thing happened, I was bullied as a result of my weight and was always very conscious of how I looked compared to everyone else. As I started to lose weight again dropping from a higher number of 13 stone to around 10 stone again I was once again told by my parents that I had to stop as I looked ill. This reoccurring memory of being told "your too thin now you look ill, you need to stop" has popped up more times than I can remember. Each time I have got to a healthy weight for my height I have been told to "stop".

I realise now that this has had such a negative affect one me and my thought processes and reactions in regards to my weight. Each time I have been told "your too thin" I have taken it to the extreme, so much so that I gained a whopping 8 stone.

This might seem really insignificant to some however I have thought about this in depth and can acknowledge this happening on nearly a daily basis. For instance I will say no to an item of food and I feel pressured into eating it as I am asked several times whether I want it or a nudge of "go on it wont hurt". Well actually it does hurt because its a daily ritual. And this isnt just by my parents, its by my friends and other family members too.

Since my recent life changing experience I have been very strong with "No's" and have stuck to my guns. I can only hope this lasts now I am more aware of my enablers. I know they mean well and love me dearly however my journey would be much easier if I wasn't encouraged to stray.

Keep strong guys,

Roo xoxo

Do you have any enablers? Are you your own saboteur?

*A love confession*

I have to confess my love for something that I am now totally addicted to. This particular 'thing' has helped me through some on easy times and has guided me in times of need. This 'thing' is something that I think everyone could benefit from having in their life. This thing is...

Ruby. If your not aware, Ruby is a stunning women from Savannah who has struggled with her weight from a young age. Ruby documents her journey of weigh loss from around 500lb (her highest being in the 700's) to set goals. You might be thinking 'oh this is another diet show', yea your right it is but its something totally different at the same time. Rather than looking at her only food intake it also goes into the psychological aspects of losing weight as well as how and why a person gains weight in the first case. Furthermore not only does she document her losses but also her gains in which we as viewers get to see how you deals with them.

This is a refreshing outlook on the life of a individual trying to loose weight and should defiantly be seen by everyone in the same position. It allows you to question aspects of your life that you would not done before, as well as understanding how certain events affect you without you realising. Through this show I have been able to pin-point events that have led to my weigh gain (which I will speak about in future posts) as well as being able to identify my own enablers (again something I will post about in the future).

If you would like to find out more about Ruby you can do so here . She is a true inspiration!

Team Ruby xoxo