*Dinning out - A Revelation*

I have had a tough past couple of nights, however not for reasons some might think. Let me begin at the start. For the past four or five years one of my favourite things to do was to dine out with friends or my partner. Dinning out was previously on my least liked list of activities as I hated eating in front of people. For the majority of my teenage life I was a secret eater, however the food I ate was not something to be ashamed of as I ate reasonably healthy and maintained a weight that I should have been proud of. However like most teenage girls I hated the way I looked and even though I was very active and my weight really should not have been an issue, my thighs were always the area I retained extra fat so was convinced I was severely overweight.

However something clicked in my head and I suddenly began to enjoy eating out. I got the chance to taste foods which I hadn't tried before as well as the luxury of eating and not having to cook or clean up after. I do believe that my then newly found freedom to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and with whom ever I wanted was a contributing factor to my weight gain. And as all you Weight watchers/lifestyle-changers know eating out can be a very "calorific" adventure which equals extra pounds.

So moving to the present...

For the past couple of nights I have dinned out with both my best friend and my partner to which I actually hated every moment of it. Not because of the company but due to suddenly feeling very uncomfortable eating in public. In sticking with the Weight watchers concept of tracking I picked the lower pointed food options but felt obliged to only eat part of my food. I felt extremely overwhelmed and considered on a few occasions as to whether to leave or not.

I hadn't felt this way for a number of years and suddenly feeling a rush of these negative emotions made me realise that I actually didn't enjoy dinning out anymore. I didn't like feeling pressured to order off of a menu in which was likely to be prepackage foods heated in the kitchen, be in sight of numerous members of the public whilst I ate (fat girl stuffing her face always comes to mind) as well as risking blowing my daily allowance if I don't stick to the plan of action.

So for the time being I have decided to refrain from eating out and have decided that rather than eating foods that are often higher in points than what I could cook at home and encounter the same negative feelings that I have recently I shall make a conscious decision to change my future social events to activities that do not result and centre around eating.

Roo
xoxo

*Reason for Wanting to Lose Weight - 2*

My list of reasons for wanting to loose weight are in no particular order and to some may seem a little selfish and extreme however these are my reasons for wanting to shift the pounds and they are the ones that keep me motivated.

My reason for wanting to lose weight number 2 is...

Confidence

Confidence is something that I have had issues with since a very young age (I'm sure that many overweight people have the same or similar issues with their confidence) and I can remember always knowing that I was larger than my friends. I have mentioned previously that I took part in a number of sporting activities when I was younger and I will blow my trumpet by saying that I was rather good (considering my size). Although I loved taking part in the activities I hated knowing that I was being watched by people as this made me extremely self conscious.

This is still a regular feeling and emotion that I have. For one I hate meeting new people, not because I'm an unsociable moo but due to feeling so self conscious and to be honest somewhat vulnerable, the whole situation can become very overwhelming. This is not only an issue on a personal level but also on a professional one too. I cringe at the thought of attending work functions and beginning a new semester at University as I have to meet and socialise with people on a different level or introduce myself to others whom I didn't already know.

My lack of confidence as a result of my weight and appearance has stopped me from living my life, not only on a social aspect but also on a professional level too. I no longer want this to be an issue and I hope that within time (and weight loss) my confidence will grow as I begin to discover what life could and should be like.

For now, being aware and admitting my issues with confidence is a positive step in the right direction. One step at a time.

Is lack of confidence something that affects you?

Roo xoxo

*Weekly update - Fluid intake *

My posting has been pretty sporadic lately and for that I apologise however the reason for my lack of posts should become obvious by the end of this post.

I'm sure you have all witnessed the recent/current heatwave that seems to have taken over. Its been extremely hot and as any one who has carried a few extra pounds knows this can make the heat even more unbearable. I can constantly feel my thighs rub together and I sweat more than I think I ever have previously. With this it has made me super conscious of how I look; what I'm wearing and whether sweat marks could become visible on my clothing, as well as remember what clothes are suitable for my active and sometimes physically demanding job. As a result of all of these elements combined I often wear the same clothes...jeans and a top, or leggings with a long top/dress. As you can see these items are not the coolest wardrobe attire in this heat. What has this got to with my lack of posts, I hear you say. Well all will be revealed...

So keeping my choice of clothing in mind, each day around the same time I was starting to feel sick due to having a headache. By the time I got home I had a full-on migraine, now some of you may remember I was taken ill recently and I'm still taking my medication for it which means I take around 26 pain relief tablets a day (I try not to take these if I can cope with the pain as I hate thinking about what they are doing to my insides) so I couldn't understand why they hadn't nipped my migraine in the bud when it was just a headache. As a result I shut myself away and waited for the migraines to diminish.

Now by the time it got to Thursday I was wondering what on earth was going on. Why was I constantly having headaches.... That's when I had my light bulb moment.

If you haven't guessed already I wasn't drinking enough! Due to the heatwave, my choice of clothing plus running around after the little ones at work I became so dehydrated that my body was screaming out for water. Now I thought I did drink a lot so I have been measuring my intake of fluids and I calculated that I don't drink half of much as what I thought I did. So I'm on a mission to up my fluid intake this week.

If you have suffered from dizziness, light-headiness, headaches, tiredness or dry mouth/lips/eyes these could all be symptoms of dehydration. You can check out other symptoms of dehydration on the NHS website.

Moving on to my achievements and goals this week...

Achievements:

• I tracked 3 days out 7- not fantastic but I'm getting there.
• I upped my fluid intake - if only for the past few days
• I hit a personal goal of 9.24 miles on my bike and concurred some very steep hills.

Goals:

• Track, track, track
• Up my fluid intake
• Cover 10 miles on my bike.

Have a fabulous week, enjoy the rest of the sunshine before the British weather returns.

Roo xoxo

*Weekly update - Motivation and Biking Adventure*

Although I didn't stay for my meeting this week (it was my niece's 1st birthday), I know that the topic was regarding motivation. I covered my new motivation only recently so I think I will pass on this topic until its covered in my meeting again.

So moving on to my week...

I've had a super crazy week and the weather has been scorching. I'm not really a summer lover because I feel uncomfortable in shorts and strap tops so I end up melting in my normal jeans and t-shirt. However I've upped my activity regardless of sweating out the river Thames. I've walked my socks off and biked until my butt was numb. I've never felt so alive!

My achievements this week:

• I tracked 3/7 - I'm really annoyed at myself for this as I know I do best when I track every day.
• I upped my fluid intake
• I upped my activity
• I lost 2.5lb on the scale!

I'm happy with how I've done this week however there is still lots of room for improvement.

My goals for the week:

• Track everyday
• Drink my 2lt everyday
• Bike to and from Uni (just over 12miles in total)

And finally just a few photos from my 6mile bike ride today ...

A refreshing ice lolly which we chased an ice cream van for.

Have a fab week everyone...

Roo xoxo

Sorry for the lack of posts lately, I've been super busy. I missed my Weightwatchers class last week which I was super upset about so I will post my weekly meeting post and goals after this weeks meeting.

I posted a few weeks ago about one of my motivation tools, which just so happens to be a programme called Ruby which follows the journey of beautiful woman who has been overweight since a child. I know I have referred to Ruby before however this particular episode really refocused me at a time of need for two reasons. Firstly, Ruby had hit a plateau in which she couldn't get below a certain weight, which in her case was 350lb. Now I, amongst many I'm sure have hit a plateau at some point in our weight loss journey. Ever so recently mine was 17st. I got so frustrated that I couldn't dip into 16st bracket that I just gave up. It sounds absurd to hear myself say that I gave up, but I did.

So back to Ruby. To over come her plateau it was suggested that she gave up or did 5 things. A few of them really stuck in my mind however the one in particular I wanted to discuss was to have more mirrors within her house. Now I don't get me wrong, I can look in the mirror easily however I realised that like her I didn't actually look at myself, I just looked at my silhouette.

I didn't really give this much thought until Saturday when I was clothes shopping and whilst trying on outfits I saw what I actually looked like. I froze in horror and immediately looked away and held back the tears. I had to literally convince myself to look in the mirror at the real me. Like I previously mentioned, I never really looked at anything within the outline of my body since I was around 12st. I was taken back by how much my body had changed and how different I actually looked.

After the overall shock had warn off I was able to focus my thoughts and my motivation of why I wanted and needed to adopt a healthier lifestyle.

With that in mind my weekly weigh-in is tomorrow evening, which I'm looking forward to and this also motivates me no end.

If you were like myself only last week, I hope you find your motivation and focus soon. I know sometimes its hard to tap into and is often found at the strangest and least desirable times. However if you already have your motivation and focus, how amazing does it feel to be in charge!

On another note, I missed my tweet what I eat Thursday due to being super busy and eating on the go so instead I have tweeted my food diary for today. If your not already a follower please feel free to add me.

Have a amazing day.

*Questions for my future self*

This may seem a bit of a strange subject however I'm hoping that this may be helpful to refer back to

in the future.

It all came about when I was drafting a post in regards to confidence and I began questioning myself, if I hated being overweight (or should I say obese) so much why didn't I change my lifestyle sooner by sticking with Weightwatchers the first time? Why have I hindered my success by not tracking, not pointing, binging and not attending meetings?

Same may say, well you wasn't in the right frame of mind. Well yes, that could be the case however when do you say enough is enough? Also if I had issues with my weight that stopped me from living my life wouldn't that be enough to make someone want to change?

This post is a bit all over the place however it has been written more for my own understanding then anyone Else's however maybe you can relate to this yourself, or could previously or maybe you have no clue what I'm talking about.

Hopefully I'll be able to answer these questions in the future however until then I'll be actively seeking the answers and unraveling my life.

Roo xoxo

*Weekly Meeting 3 - Stretching your points*

This weeks topic was about stretching your points allowance and making the most of what you have. I really enjoyed this topic as I got to see what other people ate on a limited amount of points. Although it wasn't high lighted in the meeting I do think that making your points stretch is also in linking with filling foods and could go hand in hand with one another.

 

Firstly this was my first official meeting back at weight watchers. I haven't attended a class for some time hence my struggle with losing weight. I weighed myself just before I went to my meeting like I do every week, I had stayed the same. Then when I jumped on the scales at my meeting I was horrified to see that I now weighed 18st 2.5lb! What the hell? Yes my lovely readers, my scales/ Wii Fit do not match the scales at the meeting. I must admit that I am pretty gutted however I am marking this as my start and I'll just have to concentrate from now. At the end of the day this is a lifestyle change and not a diet.

So getting back to this weeks topic. Dawn (my leader) separated us into groups of 4-5 people and set us the task as constructing a recipe for a sandwich that was 6-7 points. Now I'm not a huge sandwich fan as I believe you could use less points on something else. However we managed to construct our sandwich using our knowledge of low point ingredients. After this Dawn went through the points values of sandwich's that you could purchase as a quick alternative. Most of items that you would believe to be lower point options were actually around 8-10 points! For some that's more than half of their daily intake.

I guess the point of this topic was to make us more conscious of our food choices and to consider better options such as swapping a fried egg for a poached one or full fat mayonnaise for extra light mayonnaise.

Now moving on to my week...

I've struggled this week in regards to exercise. It seems my health has taken a step back as I've been experiencing immense pain again which has caused any type of movement to become overwhelming. To be honest I'm really upset about this as I thought I was recovering however I will try to include some kind of extra activity within my day without it being of the eating kind.

 

My accomplishments this week are:

• I tracked 4/7 days in total - Although it wasn't a whole week I did a good job and I know Ill be tracking my full 7/7 days as a habit soon.
• I worked on my fruit and veg intake- Although it wasn't a goal set from last week I managed to do so anyways and  think that rocks.
• My exercise this week has been more down than up- I managed a whole 3 days of 30 min exercise which is still pretty good.
• I went back to my meetings- something that I wanted to do for a while and have finally plucked up the courage to. As well as this I stayed to the meeting on my own!

My goals for next week:

• Track a full week
• Work on my exercise
• Attend next weeks weigh-in and stay for the meeting 

Have a fab week everyone and also don't forget its tweet what I eat Thursday soon so feel free to follow me on Twitter.

Roo xoxo