*Weekly Meeting Update - Activity*

As a mentioned in my previous post and via Twitter I finally realised after several weeks up taking and putting on the same few pounds I needed the discipline and support of my weekly meetings. Of course I knew whose meeting I wanted to go back to... my lovely leader Dawn. She is absolutely lovely and so helpful so if your in my area she runs a Tuesday class from 6:00pm at Goodmayes Primary School in Ilford or alternatively she runs two Thursday classes from 5:15 and 6:30pm at Old Dagenham Methodist Church.

So after changing my membership from online to weekly pass I am now officially attending weekly weigh-in's and meetings.

Now I just want to mention to those who may be hesitant as to whether they want to go back to classes or not, when I weighed in on Thursday at my meeting I was a whole 9lb heavier than I was when I weighed myself before I left for meeting. I'm honestly not upset that I weigh 9lb more than I thought because I know that I have already lost 10lb (I did this over the past month or so) so if I hadn't had lost that 10lb prior to my weigh-in I would have been 19lb heavier! I'm so happy that I decided to go back to my meetings and I know this really does work. So don't put it off, face the music and go to that meeting as you will be thankful you went.

So moving on to our meeting topic. As propoints is still rather new the group mainly focused on the daily and weekly allowance and the propoint values of food, however we did briefly get to talk about activity. This is my favourite topic to discuss because I get to add something new to my growing list of activities I like and enjoy to share with you and it makes me focus on my psychical and mental changes.

In the meeting we discussed how food collated to certain exercises and to be honest it was rather scary. It does make you question the types of food you pick and the amount of exercise that is required to work it off, is it worth it? In most cases I'm sure its not but that doesn't always change our decision to consume it. So my current weekly activities include:

• Aerobics, strength and stretch- I attend this class every Monday (Although I missed this weeks class due to being unwell) and I love every second of it. Its run by a woman named Chris in her 60's or 70's who is amazingly toned and lean. The class is an hour long and consists of aerobics, weight work, floor work, stretching and yoga poses. Its so much fun and can be a giggle especially if your like me and on the spot you cant tell the difference between left and right.
• Swimming - I have been enjoying my twice weekly swim since  August now and I really do look forward to it. Its an excellent low impact exercise.
• Wii - I hadn't used my Wii for some time but now I'm needing a daily stress release this has proven perfect for it and burns calories at the same time. I use a range of games from; just dance, just dance 2, biggest loser, wii sports and wii fit plus.

Apart from swimming I always wear my heart rate monitor  so I can work out my burned calories and how effective my workout is.

As its getting colder and darker a lot earlier I haven't used my bike for a while now so I think she may retire until spring now - unless I feel incredibly brave.

Accomplishments this week:

• I went back to my meeting - Although I knew I was going to go back to my weekly meetings it was still a big step to do so especially during hand-in time and so close to Christmas and my birthday.
• Activity - I have worked out a few days over the past week which has really helped me de-stress and burn calories.

Aims for next week:

• Attend my Monday class - Like I noted previously I didn't attend this Mondays class as I have been )and still are) unwell. I know I will go back because the class is so much fun and it makes me feel incredibly strong.
• Attend my weekly weigh-in - I know that I may not be able to stay for this Thursday's meeting but I will definitely be getting weigh-in (unless its closed due to the snow)
• Resistance bands - I reviewed these a few months ago and I loved them but after more back problems I stopped using them. I really want to put these back into my weekly routine.

I hope you all have a fantastic week and stay safe in the snow.

Roo xoxo

*Where it all began*

I wrote a few months ago how after reading Jillian Michaels "Winning by Losing" I had come to believe that I needed to stop dwelling on the past - past experiences, past events, past me. I still believe this to be right however I'm not sure I ever got to the real root of the reasons for my issues with weight. I wrote down some ideas of the reasons I felt I could be overweight but no exceptional light bulb experiences.

If your a regular reader of my blog you will know that I have been 'attempting' to stick to the Weightwatchers plan on my own using the online services. I really do believe that this works, no rephrase that, "it really does work" but after losing and gaining a few pounds I knew it was time for me to start attending classes - after all I personally do much better at class and I love the weekly meetings. However I know that I have 'been back to class' ample amounts of time so I was going to have to do something different this time.

So this time round I have decided to attend my weekly classes, and continue my exercise classes but also get to the real reason to my weight issues. I found "Winning by Losing" a real eye-opener and got me to understand some of the science behind it but I know I need something else to help me understand and confront my inner demons. As I enjoyed reading Jillian Michaels book I decided to try another. So this time around I have purchased and am currently reading "How to Lose Weight Without Dieting: Be the size you want to be for life" by Jessica Robbins.

Now I haven't read this book from cover to cover yet, but the introduction jumps straight into Robbins past and I could identify with so much of it. I never realised that half of what I heard I actually internalised and it affected me. Just reading a few pages I began to get teary eyed, things that I didn't think actually mattered did matter because now I was feeling a flood of overwhelming emotion. There are two main points that stuck out for me and Ill explain why here.

"You'll never be thin" this always ended with "because you have big bones", "because your just a big girl" or "because you have my genes". I never really realised how much this actually affected me. Just typing it has resulted in a huge lump in throat. I'm not advocating that the people who said this were being spiteful as they wasn't, I know what its like to be bullied, I guess it was a more of a 'gentle let down' as so I wouldn't get up set if I didn't lose any weight. But in actual fact saying this just made me believe that no matter what I'm always going to failing, I'm never going to be a healthy weight because i)I have big bones, ii) I'm just meant to be big and iii) my genetic make-up means I'm forever doomed to be overweight.

"He only has to look at bread and he puts weight on", insert what you will rather than bread, it could be anything but this was and still is something that is constantly said in my household and outside. Obviously its partly meant as a joke but if you constantly internalise this it has to be harmful in some way or another. I like many others I'm sure see food as 'evil', food is the reason why I'm fat and just looking at it makes me gain weight. This doesn't really create a healthy relationship with food.

Like it pin-points within the book, its all about self-esteem. If you lose the weight but don't face 'your demons' or your own personal reasons for gaining weight in the first case you are still going to be roughly the same person and for me its my self esteem, mine was low even at my thinnest because I hadn't tackled the issue.

So like I said previously this time around I'm going to attend my classes, continue my exercise and tackle my demons.

Have a fabulous week and for those who celebrated Thanksgiving - Happy Thanksgiving!

Roo

On a side note: I know I've been a little slack when it comes blogging recently but I have a few ideas of what I want to post I just need the time to sit down and write it.

*Weekly Update - Changing*

There has been a lot of hype for the forth coming release of Weightwatchers new Propoints plan and in all honesty I'm really excited. Normally I hate such a huge change (not that I would write that on my CV) it just causes so many second guesses and I hate the feeling of being unsure. I have read a lot of comments and also heard a lot of debates on the changing system which has made me reflect on the ever changing me.

On reflection I have changed a lot of the past few years, but more so than ever over the past month. I have overcome numerous hurdles over the past month (sometimes kicking and screaming) and some of these are things I thought I would never be able to do. I know that my mental health is changing, I'm beginning to think positively again and even more so then previous and to be honest I'm liking the new me. I'm not fighting against myself at the moment (which is what makes my weight loss journey so hard), I guess you could now call it a journey to inner peace. At the moment nothing feels as good as making a positive or good decision.

On Friday I weighed in... +2lb. I had GAINED 2lb? Hand on heart I really did stick to my point allowance, I couldn't understand why so on Saturday I Tweeted that I had had a rubbish morning and eaten a vast amount of junk. I ate that junk because I thought "whats the point?" I had gained 2lb for 'no reason'. Once I had eaten it I felt even worse then I did when the scale showed a gain and that's when I told myself, if I don't carry on then I'm always going to this weight or more likely heavier. So what if I gained 2lb! I lost 10lb the week before and I had accomplished things during the week I didn't think possible (I rode my bike on my OWN to a place a few miles away). So that was the end of my destruction. The best thing was, it took hours to realise my destructive actions rather than days or weeks.

As well as riding my bike and stopping my self-destruction I have also signed up to an aerobics class of a Monday. That's right people... aerobics! If you read my blog regularly please do not panic as my Monday night swim is changing to a Friday. There, panic avoided.

I can't help but feel happy knowing that I'm taking steps to be the best of what I can be however big or small they are.

Accomplishment's:

• I rode my bike to somewhere new - I rode nearly 7 miles and burned 900kcal! 
• I tracked 6/7 days - my missing day was Saturday, I did try to track everything but being a binge I lost count of a lot of what I ate however I did stay to plan for the rest of the day.
• I had my 'me time'

Goals:

• Try something new - My last weeks try something new is my aerobics class tonight so I know I can tick this one off next week.
• Track all week - I will be giving even more attention to this, this week as its the launch of Propoints. Excitement!
• Take my calcium tablets - I don't consume a lot of diary through choice and I take medication (nothing serious) which as a side effect can decrease bone density and after the issues which my back and chest decided to do what was advised and purchase some supplements. Now I just have to take them.

And just to imprint the fact that I will be ticking off one of my goals, here is me getting ready to go to my aerobics class. (I'll let you know whether I survive)

Have a fabulous week guys and gals.

Roo xoxo

*Weekly Update - Lunch*

This week has been about getting back on track, not just for pyshical health but also for my mental health. Like I said recently, I needed me time. I was beginning to lose focus on the bigger picture but thankfuly I'm back and close to top form.

Recently I read an article in my local newspaper regarding children's lunches. The article blasted many families for providing unhealthy packed lunches and snacks to their children and I was shocked to see the majority of lunches consisted of chocolates, crisps, baked goods and chocolate spread sandwiches. As you can see a lot of processed junk but when I thought about a typical lunch time meal for me pre Weightwatchers I wouldnt think twice about consuming a cheese and onion pasty (sometimes two) followed by a triple chocolate muffin and a bag of crisps... not forgetting my diet coke (This is sometimes still the case!). Thats easily one and a half times my point allowance for the day and that was just one meal!

Now yes, I am pointing so theres no way I would chose to eat all of those foods now but it made me realise that to make my points allowance stretch I was consuming the same thing every single day. I'm not saying thats a bad thing, its worked for me in the past but it does become boring after a while so I decided to spice things up this week by having something different for my lunch every day.

As I changed my lunch every day I found some of my new favourite things to eat.  My favourite thing to eat at the moment has to be pitta pizza's. I love this so much (because of the ease and time) I will be doing a post on this so you can see how I do mine. I also love Quorn and veggie wraps as well as homemade soup. what do you like to eat at lunch?

Moving on...

My achievements this week:

• I tracked all week. Yes, thats right, every single day!
• I walked further on the days I didnt swim
• I lost 10lb! - Yes, you read that right. 10lb! I'm back to 18stone. Also thank you for my lovely comments on Twitter on my loss... you made my day :)

My aims/plans for next week:

• Continue to track - its obviously working.
• Put aside some me time
• Up-date my i-pod - I need some new tunes, if you have any ideas let me know
• Try something new - It doesnt matter whethers it food or activity, just try something new

Wishing you all a fabulous week!

Roo xoxo