*Dinning out - A Revelation*

I have had a tough past couple of nights, however not for reasons some might think. Let me begin at the start. For the past four or five years one of my favourite things to do was to dine out with friends or my partner. Dinning out was previously on my least liked list of activities as I hated eating in front of people. For the majority of my teenage life I was a secret eater, however the food I ate was not something to be ashamed of as I ate reasonably healthy and maintained a weight that I should have been proud of. However like most teenage girls I hated the way I looked and even though I was very active and my weight really should not have been an issue, my thighs were always the area I retained extra fat so was convinced I was severely overweight.

However something clicked in my head and I suddenly began to enjoy eating out. I got the chance to taste foods which I hadn't tried before as well as the luxury of eating and not having to cook or clean up after. I do believe that my then newly found freedom to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and with whom ever I wanted was a contributing factor to my weight gain. And as all you Weight watchers/lifestyle-changers know eating out can be a very "calorific" adventure which equals extra pounds.

So moving to the present...

For the past couple of nights I have dinned out with both my best friend and my partner to which I actually hated every moment of it. Not because of the company but due to suddenly feeling very uncomfortable eating in public. In sticking with the Weight watchers concept of tracking I picked the lower pointed food options but felt obliged to only eat part of my food. I felt extremely overwhelmed and considered on a few occasions as to whether to leave or not.

I hadn't felt this way for a number of years and suddenly feeling a rush of these negative emotions made me realise that I actually didn't enjoy dinning out anymore. I didn't like feeling pressured to order off of a menu in which was likely to be prepackage foods heated in the kitchen, be in sight of numerous members of the public whilst I ate (fat girl stuffing her face always comes to mind) as well as risking blowing my daily allowance if I don't stick to the plan of action.

So for the time being I have decided to refrain from eating out and have decided that rather than eating foods that are often higher in points than what I could cook at home and encounter the same negative feelings that I have recently I shall make a conscious decision to change my future social events to activities that do not result and centre around eating.

Roo
xoxo

*Reason for Wanting to Lose Weight - 2*

My list of reasons for wanting to loose weight are in no particular order and to some may seem a little selfish and extreme however these are my reasons for wanting to shift the pounds and they are the ones that keep me motivated.

My reason for wanting to lose weight number 2 is...

Confidence

Confidence is something that I have had issues with since a very young age (I'm sure that many overweight people have the same or similar issues with their confidence) and I can remember always knowing that I was larger than my friends. I have mentioned previously that I took part in a number of sporting activities when I was younger and I will blow my trumpet by saying that I was rather good (considering my size). Although I loved taking part in the activities I hated knowing that I was being watched by people as this made me extremely self conscious.

This is still a regular feeling and emotion that I have. For one I hate meeting new people, not because I'm an unsociable moo but due to feeling so self conscious and to be honest somewhat vulnerable, the whole situation can become very overwhelming. This is not only an issue on a personal level but also on a professional one too. I cringe at the thought of attending work functions and beginning a new semester at University as I have to meet and socialise with people on a different level or introduce myself to others whom I didn't already know.

My lack of confidence as a result of my weight and appearance has stopped me from living my life, not only on a social aspect but also on a professional level too. I no longer want this to be an issue and I hope that within time (and weight loss) my confidence will grow as I begin to discover what life could and should be like.

For now, being aware and admitting my issues with confidence is a positive step in the right direction. One step at a time.

Is lack of confidence something that affects you?

Roo xoxo

*Weekly update - Fluid intake *

My posting has been pretty sporadic lately and for that I apologise however the reason for my lack of posts should become obvious by the end of this post.

I'm sure you have all witnessed the recent/current heatwave that seems to have taken over. Its been extremely hot and as any one who has carried a few extra pounds knows this can make the heat even more unbearable. I can constantly feel my thighs rub together and I sweat more than I think I ever have previously. With this it has made me super conscious of how I look; what I'm wearing and whether sweat marks could become visible on my clothing, as well as remember what clothes are suitable for my active and sometimes physically demanding job. As a result of all of these elements combined I often wear the same clothes...jeans and a top, or leggings with a long top/dress. As you can see these items are not the coolest wardrobe attire in this heat. What has this got to with my lack of posts, I hear you say. Well all will be revealed...

So keeping my choice of clothing in mind, each day around the same time I was starting to feel sick due to having a headache. By the time I got home I had a full-on migraine, now some of you may remember I was taken ill recently and I'm still taking my medication for it which means I take around 26 pain relief tablets a day (I try not to take these if I can cope with the pain as I hate thinking about what they are doing to my insides) so I couldn't understand why they hadn't nipped my migraine in the bud when it was just a headache. As a result I shut myself away and waited for the migraines to diminish.

Now by the time it got to Thursday I was wondering what on earth was going on. Why was I constantly having headaches.... That's when I had my light bulb moment.

If you haven't guessed already I wasn't drinking enough! Due to the heatwave, my choice of clothing plus running around after the little ones at work I became so dehydrated that my body was screaming out for water. Now I thought I did drink a lot so I have been measuring my intake of fluids and I calculated that I don't drink half of much as what I thought I did. So I'm on a mission to up my fluid intake this week.

If you have suffered from dizziness, light-headiness, headaches, tiredness or dry mouth/lips/eyes these could all be symptoms of dehydration. You can check out other symptoms of dehydration on the NHS website.

Moving on to my achievements and goals this week...

Achievements:

• I tracked 3 days out 7- not fantastic but I'm getting there.
• I upped my fluid intake - if only for the past few days
• I hit a personal goal of 9.24 miles on my bike and concurred some very steep hills.

Goals:

• Track, track, track
• Up my fluid intake
• Cover 10 miles on my bike.

Have a fabulous week, enjoy the rest of the sunshine before the British weather returns.

Roo xoxo